Help
Sign In
entitlement
July 2008 
Nonviolent Communication
Posted on Mar 19th, 2008
by 
Woman, Interrupted
Woman, Interrupted
I realize this is going to put me on the search list. So be it. I've perused some of the other posts on NVC and they're great. I can't compete with those who are being informative. But no one else can offer my particular damaged pov. What does NVC look like to people who can't make it work? What do people who can't make it work look like from the pov of those who can?
I'm taking a class in NVC. It's really important to me. But it's reinforcing an old pattern for me: that I'm not crazy and the world is messed up. Knowing that I'm not crazy for wanting and needing this to be real, makes me crazy. This is really a mindfuck for me:
"We all pay dearly when people respond to our values and needs, not out of a desire to give from the heart, but out of fear, guilt or shame. Sooner or later, we will experience the consequences of diminished goodwill on the part of those who comply with our values out of a sense of either external or internal coercion. They, too, pay emotionally, for they are likely to feel resentment and decreased self-esteem when they respond to us out of fear, guilt or shame. Furthermore, each time others associate us in their minds with any of those feelings, we decrease the likelihood of their responding compassionately to our needs and values in the future."
I am labeled violent (not to mention crazy!) for being angry that I have to keep paying for the violence of others. If I were to repress my anger, then I'm still paying the price for their violence.
Transcending is a Bitch.
There is literally no higher place to go. The higher you make the ideals, the more distance you put between the ideal and the reality and the more extreme the hypocrisy when the ideal is frustrated. The tension is giving humanity a communal heart attack.
I'm taking a class in NVC. It's really important to me. But it's reinforcing an old pattern for me: that I'm not crazy and the world is messed up. Knowing that I'm not crazy for wanting and needing this to be real, makes me crazy. This is really a mindfuck for me:
"We all pay dearly when people respond to our values and needs, not out of a desire to give from the heart, but out of fear, guilt or shame. Sooner or later, we will experience the consequences of diminished goodwill on the part of those who comply with our values out of a sense of either external or internal coercion. They, too, pay emotionally, for they are likely to feel resentment and decreased self-esteem when they respond to us out of fear, guilt or shame. Furthermore, each time others associate us in their minds with any of those feelings, we decrease the likelihood of their responding compassionately to our needs and values in the future."
I am labeled violent (not to mention crazy!) for being angry that I have to keep paying for the violence of others. If I were to repress my anger, then I'm still paying the price for their violence.
Transcending is a Bitch.
There is literally no higher place to go. The higher you make the ideals, the more distance you put between the ideal and the reality and the more extreme the hypocrisy when the ideal is frustrated. The tension is giving humanity a communal heart attack.
Access: Public
